the passion

When you are in your mid 30s, you sometimes wonder "where did my time go?" You wake up in the morning and do all you routines, you are so bogged down with work and life and then suddenly you are already in front of the couch changing channels or browsing through netflix deciding what to watch till it's time to go to bed. Tomorrow you start a new day but the same routine, in and out. Sometimes you go for a short trip, or maybe a long one to destress. Probably meet friends for coffee, go for a jog or do something that makes you happy. But is there something you are passionate about?

I know of a guy who is so passionate about things, it's amazing to see him learn and dedicate his time on what he is passionate about. That guy is my husband. He was born playing games. Computer games, consoles, PS3, you name it. I think it's in his genes. I was never a tech kinda person. But he is. We kinda found a meeting point when one day I told him I used to love playing board games with my siblings. We bought our first board game, it was Risk. He kept on losing cause I have "magic hands" on rolling dice. It frustrated him cause he hates losing hehe. Our second game was Settlers of Catan. He also lost a lot of times because, again, of my magic hands. The third game was Android Netrunner and I never won this one because he was good. He crushed me so bad so many times but nevertheless I had fun playing with him. It's been almost 3 years and we have almost 100 board games in our collection. At night we would spend time playing board games together. I enjoy it a lot although sometimes it's frustrating especially when I lose. Hehe.

Recently he bought for me a telescope. He kept on asking me "bila nak beli , bila nak beli?" I said I am still saving up money to get a decent one. One day he said, you should really get a telescope. I asked why? - Cause it's something you're passionate about. He got it for me instead cause he knows I'm gonna take forever to get one (I am like the total opposite of an impulsive buyer. I am a pulsive buyer (is there such a word?) Sometimes I take years to decide on buying just a pair of shoes).

He knows me well. If he was into games, I was into celestial events. When I was 13, there was an eclipse of the sun during school time and everyone made a big deal about it. I wondered, what's the big fuss? It was during the total eclipse that I saw day time turned totally dark just like night time and was blown away by it. I started taking an interest on these kind of events. One time, I went star gazing at school and saw Saturn and it's rings and all its moon. It looked just like those pictures you see in the Internet, I got to see it through a lense of a telescope. Till today, I still remember that image in my head vividly. I saw the crack on the moon where it was being mentioned in the Quran (54: 1-2). It was unbelievable but believable because it's true. When I was 16, for the first time in my life I saw 13 beautiful meteor showers. It was one of the most meaningful events in my teenage life. I once hung out the whole afternoon at Planetarium KL just to see the transit of Venus through the Sun. It's just a small dot travelling across the sun very very slowly but it's pretty awesome if you ask me hehehe. As I grew older, I started drifting away from these events. I guess I was caught up in the rat race or maybe other things were taking too much of my time. There's not much time to invest on hobbies because you can just sit or lay down and scroll on other people's life. See what they're eating, their holiday trips, their latest handbag or tudung collection, their baby shower decorations. Social network took up too much of my time I guess. But thanks to my husband, I am slowly realizing that I should pursue what I am passionate about. Sure I won't get a PhD in Astrophysics like Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory but I don't care. I am slowly learning and taking my time appreciating what's up in the sky. It's a beautiful thing and it makes me happy because I get to see and appreciate Allah's creation. It's so fascinating and beautiful. I am so grateful to be able to experience it. Maybe others won't understand how I feel but it's okay. This is what makes me, me.

According to Wikipedia, this is the definition of Nerd
"They may spend inordinate amounts of time on unpopular, obscure, or non-mainstream activities, which are generally either highly technical or relating to topics of fiction or fantasy, to the exclusion of more mainstream activities."

I guess I am one now.

So what is it that you are passionate about ? What makes you a nerd? :)