The what ifs

There will come a time in your life when you just kinda wonder the what ifs questions in your life. Having a statistics background I'd sketch a probability tree chart with all the possible events that might have occurred since post high school.

Everybody wanted to become a doctor in my class. Almost everybody did. Either a medical doctor or a doctor with a PhD. Some a very successful now and made it to the papers. I am very happy for them and I thought gawsh we used to sit at the back and slept through physics class together. It's so awesome to see where people end up now after so many years. So what if I did become a doctor? Although I know in my heart I don't have the brains, energy or thick skin to be one. Tgh darah pun dah nak muntah. Hahaha. I would probably be working this very minute I am writing this and still be working the time you are reading this. Ahahah  what if I continued working and didn't take that stop to pursue my studies, would my life be any different?  What if I didn't read that Friendster msg Ikhwan gave me asking to meet up for coffee? And after going through the list of all the what ifs in your head, things will start to get creepier. You just shake it off and come back to reality and present.

You conclude that there is no what ifs because things happen for a reason. You may not know it now but you will one. And the what ifs will then not matter anymore because things could have not gone any better.

Allah's plan are only the best.

the move, the boxes, Ikea and everything else

There's just something about opening boxes. The element of surprise, the anticipation, the pulling out the tapes from the box, the wait. it somehow feels like forever and time sorta pass by in slow motion till the moment you finish opening that box.

Since beginning of the year I have packed and unpacked about 200 boxes. I have moved twice in 2015 and it's only September. My whole life I have stayed at the same house since birth till I moved to Germany. And since then I have moved to 4 different houses. Ahahah people ask me, "it  must be stressful huh?" You think ? Haha but now I can laugh about it.

I guess there is just something about moving. What gets you motivated is the chance of starting a new life. It's like celebrating new year with a new resolution but you don't have to wait till new year's to do it. You'd wanna start jogging, have a proper routine, you'd wanna fill your new fridge with all healthy foods, have new kitchen stuff, new plates and new furniture. That's when Ikea comes in.

A trip to Ikea can be very tricky. You get all excited and start to imagine your house having that photo frames or scented candles that you don't need. You start filling your cart with all those small stuff like that vase that you so desperately need. Cause it's 15.99 je kan, why not? That's why my husband will always wanna come to Ikea with me. He will always say something like this, "do we really need another set of tupperware ke? Bukan dapo dah takde tempat ke". Towards the kitchen area tu laju je dia jalan. Hahaha.

And getting the items in Ikea. Hah. If you Watch that episode of 30 Rock where Liz Lemon and her boyfriend pergi Ikea tu, memang it's so true. Couples will always bergaduh or keadaan tegang everytime kat hujung Ikea tu ahahah. It's like going on a roller coaster ride. During the showroom area you can see couples holding hands with dreamy faces, muka penuh sinar harapan. Tapi bila kat hujung tu mesti muka ketat je part nak amek barang and also nak load in the car. Hahahah. Happens everytime.

Well that's my story. I am here now in Erlangen again. I loved that house in Gmünd. Everybody knew everybody.kedai Turki dekat. Ada river. Life was like slow and steady. Rumah was awesome. Not to mention the houseowner is a good looking doctor who also owns a pharmacy and a part time modal and actor. Boleh tak? Ahahha

But this house is slowly starting to feel like home. And with that note I hope sangat I will get my mojo back, in writing.

On a different note, this day 10 years ago, me and Ikhwan went for bowling just as friends. And tengah gelak gelak buat lawak time main bowling tu, there was that one moment I thought, agaknya aku ni dgn dia mcm mane la lagi 10 tahun. Masih kawan ke, dah lost contact ke? It never occurred to me that we would be married, betapa nerd nya aku ahahah

But if ikhwan asks me, kalau kita pindah lagi u ok tak? For you yes, 1000 time yes eheehe